Olympic Looks

I am SO DANG TIRED of reading articles about the Olympic athletes that are based solely on the way they look, wear their hair, dress, apply makeup, etc. Why can’t we focus on what they did while participating in one of the greatest sporting events in the world against the best in the world?! These athletes are most often very young, to the point of being in high school or college (depending on the sport) and I think it is absolutely disrespectful and terrible that people actually write articles about these amazing young individuals that are mostly negative about their looks. 

I’ve been working towards a goal of not standing by and letting people argue out certain issues or do certain things that I think are inherently wrong. Not saying anything is a silent acquiescence to the negative or bad behavior that others are exhibiting and I WILL NOT DO THAT. The first article I came across was mostly about the gymnastics rules that prohibited 17 year old Jordyn Wieber from participating in the individual all-around competition. This article went on to say how Wieber’s makeup was too much, how Gabby Douglas (15) is easily everyone’s favorite because she is so cute and how McKayla Maroney (16) has a (excuse the language) “bitchface.” Seriously? We are going to judge the worth of these women based upon the way they look or how they apply makeup? Maybe we should focus on the fact that this team of YOUNG women got the first team gold for the USA since 1996. How Douglas is the first US woman have both a team and all around gold? How they are positively representing their country? How they made such extraordinary decisions to pursue this at such a young age? Where are all the articles about that?

Following this article, I’ve seen criticism after criticism of MANY female athletes based upon their looks. Many of these articles claim the athletes are overweight, ugly, need to get things fixed etc. REALLY? The other thing that has really stuck out at me is that we do not see ANY articles or blogs about how unattractive all the male athletes are (only articles about how attractive they are). It seems that most articles about male athletes focus on the right things, how well they are doing in London, how great it is that they are representing their country, etc. Which is GREAT!  The question that really bothers me is why on earth do the female athletes have to deal with this media? I have made an active effort since reading the first article to NOT CLICK OR READ these types of things. They want traffic and I won’t give it to them.

 I also have thought about how it is such a struggle as a woman to balance the feeling of wanting to look good with working hard to accomplish something, whether it is pursuing Olympic gold or being successful in a corporate environment. It seems to me, most of the time, when I have a disagreement with someone, they go straight to the argument that I’m ugly. I think many individuals know that many females will have a visceral reaction to this and lose sight of what they are doing. Basically, when someone says these negative things, they are actively trying to handicap you. I’ve gotten to the point of agreeing that I’m one ugly girl and then getting back to the situation at hand. They always look so surprised… As a woman, I would suggest that both women and men do not place their self-worth and self-esteem into the hands of others. I only care about me and my close friend’s opinions of myself. 

The last thing I have to say is that I hope that these articles don’t affect these girls, because I find each one of them to be amazing! Who out there can say they have competed in such an international, high profile competition all before you turn 21? Not me, and I applaud them for being so amazing!

ON A SIDE NOTE: I am doing a research study on Social Media Habits and Personality. It requires you to be at least 18 and have a Twitter Account. I’d need you to fill out a survey and then download an Excel spreadsheet of your tweets (sent to belindaksmith@gmail.com). The link to the survey is here and the link to downloading your tweets is here. I’d appreciate any and all of your participation!!

5 Ways to Make Your Life Mostly Enjoyable

I feel as if some of my entries are somewhat redundant as I live by a few basic principles to keep my life whole and enjoyable. I wanted to outline them with some analogies or anecdotes so that maybe they can help YOU construct your life in a way that makes it the least miserable it can be (it can’t be all great, we have to work for a living). Plus, I’m in a positive mood today!!

1.       Build and cultivate your relationships.

·         I mean REALLY put in the time to be sure that your family and close friends stay close or rekindling friendships that may have accidentally fallen to the wayside. I did this recently by traveling out of state to visit my great grandmother with my family. I feel a little old for family vacations, but it was definitely needed and much appreciated. I did it for me, but I also did it for my family, as they really do want to spend time and see me. To them, I’m still 12. I also attended a good friend’s wedding that was out of state. (Did I mention the family vacay and this was the same week?!). I knew it was important to her and I had a WONDERFUL time. It wasn’t easy with the travel plans and actual travel, but it was more than worth it! I stand by that you never regret reaching out to someone and making time for them! 

2.       Do what you do and don’t let anyone tell you differently

·         What I mean by this is know what you want to do and do it. This can be in terms of work/career, but it does not have to be. Here is an example: I personally LOVE my job. I don’t necessarily like it every day, but I do like the underlying purpose of it and what impact it has (however small). I also know that my job does not completely define me, my interests and my talents. While I love what I do, I also love other things and MAKE time for them. I also do this even when coworkers, friends or otherwise criticize me for being “childish” for holding onto things that I have liked for my lifetime. If you think that my passion for dance or my sorority makes me an inadequate employee, you have another thing coming! 

3.       Never give up

·         This kind of goes with the last one, but it needs to be delineated separately. It’s no secret that I love to dance. I incorporate it in my job and life as much as I can (thanks again to my People Report Call Me Maybe Flashmobbers). I take adult dance classes and go to Zumba just to be able to do it. I’ve also made a goal to be on a professional dance team. I’ve wanted to do that since I was at least 15 and now that I am done with school for now, I’m doing it. I’ve tried out a total of 3 times for 2 different teams and have been cut the first round of auditions every single time. I’ve been told it’s a waste of time, that I don’t have the right look, I don’t know the right style and have been asked how many times do they have to tell me no before I quit. Guess what? I’m not going to quit. It isn’t easy to be told no and especially to be told no so early in the process. I’m not going to lie; it’s really upsetting and discouraging. But each time, I learn something more and learn something different to help get to where I want to be. I’m still auditioning and still trying and I won’t stop until I physically can’t do it anymore. I actually felt even more strongly about this after watching the Olympics and seeing Jordyn Wieber not make all around finals for women’s gymnastics (even though that rule is stupid and she should be able to compete). She isn’t giving up, and I am not either. 

4.       Know yourself and your value

·         This can be applied to work, but also know your value in general. No one is value-less. Don’t let someone ever tell you that you are stupid or crazy. Don’t let people treat you like you don’t matter and don’t believe them when they say you don’t matter. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve encountered this, and I’ve found that the people saying those horrible things are normally more upset with themselves than anyone else. Be positive about yourself and stay that way. 

5.       Surround yourself with awesome people

·         I have a lot of friends that are better than me at something, prettier than me, more successful than me, nicer than me, etc. I WANT to be around people like that. I want to continue growing as a person and being my best self. I’m not trying to change myself, but I want to tap into things that maybe I have overlooked. Being around great people helps to make you a great person. 

So there you have it! Belinda’s 5 Principles to having a mostly enjoyable life!

The Most Annoying Question Bosses Ask You

As I’ve been trying to figure out my career path and really just how to be a fully functioning adult, I’ve been thinking about all the different directions my life can take. At my job, we do quarterly check ins and can add discussions if necessary to make sure that we are meeting goals within our positions, but also to talk about what we want to ultimately be doing.

 I ALWAYS struggle with that question! “Where do you see yourself in 5 years? Or “What are your long-term goals?” UM, IDK?! Every mentor or role-model that I’ve ever had has said that you need to have a basic plan and goals to meet over time in order to be successful and happy with your life. I try SO hard to do this, but I keep going back to my 20 year old self (6 years ago) and think about my answer at that age. I thought when I was 25, I’d be married with children, having a small supplemental job to my husband and maybe teaching dance on the side. Yeah, YOU GUESSED IT! That didn’t happen. 

AND I’m glad it didn’t! I have experienced and done more than I ever thought I was capable of and more than I had ever imagined for myself. I mean, I didn’t know what I could be doing and it’s hard to know what you want to do when you don’t know all of your options. You don’t know what you don’t know. You have to gain as many experiences and knowledge in order to make informed decisions about your life, goals, career, everything. 

I still struggle with this as I felt that my 20 year old self severely pigeon-holed me into a specific life path that I may have been happy with, but I would also have missed out on so much that makes me happy now. I don’t want my 26 year old self to do that to my 30, 40 or 50 year old self. That being said, I understand having direction is important, but instead of placing SO MUCH emphasis on it, maybe encourage discovery, experience and the continued acquisition of knowledge and expertise.

So, when answering the question “Where do you see yourself in 5 years?,” I say, where don’t I see myself in 5 years? Ultimately, I want a career that is does not only enable me to provide for a family; I want one that is meaningful and I can see my impact, however small. I also want to be GOOD at what I do. I want people to know me for striving for the very best and achieving that. The actual tasks or assignments are almost irrelevant. I say almost, because I’ve prepared and studied an area that I would probably stay within, but there is SO much to do in that area! 

I want to make a positive impact in any way that I can. Whether it be direct, indirect, financial, people-oriented, system oriented, etc. As the market changes and as needs change, what I need to do to accomplish this goal changes.  It’s difficult to know exactly your placement to be able to keep up with the changes. Experience makes you better able to see the movements, track them and understand them, but for now, I have to work hard at understanding the landscape and how it changes.  That understanding is essential to making an impact.  “What are your long-term goals?” Answer: TO MAKE AN IMPACT! 

The above is a picture of me looking like I'm making an impact. Mostly I wanted to show off that swan faucet. It's pretty awesome. 

Step Out of the Norm!

Within this blog, I try to give tips, suggestions and share experiences to make people (y’all) happier, whether that be in your career, profession, personal life, family life, etc. This entry is geared more towards personal life, but I see some parallels that can be used for your professional life too! 

It occurred to me this past weekend that I’ve been having one hell of a time lately. I’ve been enjoying my time at work and away from work. In addition to increasing my activity level by going to Zumba classes and dance classes, I’ve also tried to find time to meet up with friends that are also busy that I may have not seen in a while and have been making weekend plans that include trips, parties, etc. 

I was thinking about all of this awesomeness (great word, huh) on my way to work this morning and realized the same has been going on at work. I’ve been happier overall and have varied my day to include more things. Work is work, and not every minute is enjoyable, but overall, it’s been nice. 

So then, being the over-analyzer that I am, I was trying to figure out why such a change of pace? My past few posts clearly demonstrated some frustrations that I was dealing with and I didn’t knowingly do anything differently. I realized that I’ve been changing my environment subtlety and unconsciously. I’ve been not sticking to a routine of going to work, coming home, cooking dinner, going to sleep. I also haven’t been spending every weekend watching Netflix and cleaning the apartment. At work, I haven’t been doing one type of task ALL the time and not saying anything about my discontent. 

I’ve been STOPPING a routine and starting to do things a little more outside of the norm for me. It’s not only made me happier and more relaxed, but it makes me happier with my relationships with other people. I feel like my boyfriend and I are able to have more varied fun together. I actually get to SEE my friends IRL (in real life) and not just only on Facebook or Twitter. Because I’m less stressed and dejected at work, my relationship with my coworkers and boss has been better as well. 

While routines do work for some areas of life, sticking to one at all times gets to be monotonous and makes one less likely to do things like take an impromptu trip to the lake, go camping, attend a quick professional HH, go to dinner with a friend to help them with their resume, and go on a random date. Those things seem to be the best things to attend! It’s made my life cooler and happier, so try it and I hope it does the same for you!! 

Pic above is from a conference that is near and dear to my heart! People Report Summer Camp! #PRScamp #PRBPC on Twitter! Definitely a pic out of the norm! 

Talkin' 'Bout My HR Function

This entry is a little more work-related than usual and specifically related to my line of work. For those of you that don’t know, I work within the HR space, and develop selection assessments for a variety of clients and positions, but mostly within the hospitality/restaurant space. Typically, the background required for this type of job is industrial organizational psychology. That background isn’t the easiest to explain, so I usually say it’s a “fancy HR with stats.” The reason that this entry is made is that I wanted to clear up some of the negativity surrounding this arena. It isn’t completely perfect; however, it is NOT mostly negative.

Many people really dislike my line of work as they don’t believe assessments or personality assessments have any real merit on predicting if an individual will be a good fit for the job. I’m one of those people that will not get upset if your opinion differs from mine, but I feel as if I should shed some light on this area of HR and why I think it DOES work. 

I think many people operate under the misconception that psychologists and psychologically based tests are there to judge individuals as being “good” or “bad.” They imagine a psychologist in a white coat with crazy hair overanalyzing every little detail and judging certain things as “abnormal.” Just as an FYI, people aren’t ever seen as abnormal and psychologists are hardly normal. The only edge I really get from being privy to the information from personality tests, etc.  is that I know a lot about myself and what my tendencies are. I’m hardly normal and hardly perfect. What people don’t understand (and how could they, unless they work in the industry), is that in my position, we are trying to balance giving a job to a deserving person, and selecting the best candidate from the perspective of the client/organization.

Honestly, from my perspective, I WANT you to get the job! I do, however, need to recommend the candidates that I think will be the best fit for my client. By fit, I mean, has a personality that will thrive in that work environment, be able to do the job minimally and that in turn will result in outcomes such as retention and job satisfaction. Have you ever been in a job where you hate your coworkers, are forced to work in conditions that aren’t ideal for your productivity and have trouble really believing and acting in accordance with the company mission? I definitely have and it’s HORRIBLE. While I may have very much needed a job and income, I was miserable and that was resulting in adverse effects; effects on the organization and on me as the individual. Miserable employees do not represent the organization well, in any situation, and having a miserable job really does affect a lot of facets of one’s life. 

Assessments as well as other NEEDED aspects of the selection process (interviews, realistic job previews, etc.) can and do regularly predict success within a job and an organization. These types of things aren’t (or at least should not be) pulled at random and developed “willy-nilly.” There is quite a bit of scientific and statistical rigor that goes into these types of things (I won’t bore you with details). The basics of it are that these types of things are developed having actual indicators of good performance, retention, job satisfaction, etc. in hand and are linked to them statistically to best predict those outcomes. 

I got into this field because I wanted to help people. I think we spend a lot of our time and energy at work, and while it can’t be fun all the time, it does not have to be miserable.  I also want it to be clear that these tests are not the be-all-end-all of the selection process. They are one component of it. In stats, we are taught that the more data points you can get on something, the more accurate the overall picture is. So, the more times that we can measure something from a job-seeker, the more likely our view will be an accurate, overall picture. 

FYI this is a pic of my work team who do the same thing I do. And yes, we are playing Whirlyball!! 

Spreading Your Wings

As always, one of my goals in this blog is to help young professionals either avoid pitfalls or give advice that will make things a little easier for them. This entry is more about that aspect of this blog. One of the things that wasn’t completely obvious to me when entering the workplace was that I have to do a lot of legwork OUTSIDE of my job and company in order to even begin becoming a leader in my profession and industry. That isn’t always easy to do, as many companies do not see the value in sending younger or less experienced employees to professional conferences or events. That’s where the work falls onto you.

I have a few pieces of advice on how to do this that doesn’t require backing from your company, but it is important that you make it clear to your boss or the decision makers that being considered to attend certain events is important to you and that it will add value to the organization. One way to do this is to create business cases for why you should attend something. For example, I wanted to attend a conference that was not well known within my company so I wrote up a simple 5 paragraph type-essay making points of how the attendance would help the company and my personal development. Also, don’t give up if your company doesn’t agree with your business case or cases at first. Keep trying! It will result in something good! At the very least, your superiors will see your initiative and business mindedness. 

Another piece of advice is to find out if there are professional clubs or groups within your area. Find out when they meet, what they typically discuss, etc. In addition to keeping up with the current trends, the people that attend these types of meetings are integral to get to know. I’ve found that many of the people that I meet at these types of things are the most influential in my career, decision making and my biggest champions. Also, be sure to not pigeon-hole yourself into just one type of professional group. For example, I’m a member of my local Industrial Organizational Psychology group, a local Social Media group, a Human Resources group, a Women’s Leadership group, a generic young professionals group and a group that focuses on restaurant industry trends. While I don’t necessarily touch on all of this in my current role, it will be important for me to know as I navigate upward in my company and industry. 

The last piece of advice I have is to really develop your “personal brand.” Many marketing professionals talk about this all the time, but it isn’t the easiest thing to know how to do. Basically a personal brand is what you want other professionals or individuals to think about you when they see your name or picture. So, as Belinda Smith, I want people to think of Human Resources, Social Media, Digital Marketing, a leader and an all around fun person. Nowadays, it’s much easier to develop these brands. You can utilize social media and blogging to do this. The articles and blogs that I post on Twitter are in line with my personal brand. I also want to make it clear that your personal brand does not need to be “flat” and only business –related.  I want people to see me as who I am, which is a very complex and dynamic person. I have a lot of professional interests, but I want to share my personal interests as well. I love dancing, cheerleading, painting, NFL and college football and cooking! I want people to see me as a person and not just an expert on a few things. I think that helps to differentiate yourself from other professionals in your area even more than just being the best at it.

In other news: I’m thinking of starting a video blog in conjunction with this page! Let me know what you think and what things you want to SEE me talk about!