Tuesday, July 26, 2016

It only takes one YES.

So often we see people writing about how they have become successful and that it takes a ton of failure. We know these stories of how Michael Jordan didn't make a basketball team or how Albert Einstein's mother was told that he was stupid and couldn't amount to anything. Hearing these stories does help when things don't work out, but actually going through that failure hurts. Rejection, being told no, being told you aren't good enough, can't do something, etc. hurts. It just hurts. it is OK that it hurts. LET it hurt. That is one thing through my many failures that I've learned - don't act like you didn't care or that it doesn't hurt. That hurts you even more in the long run - it's like avoiding an injury and continuing to use the injured part of you. Acknowledge it.

The second thing I do in a failure situation is setting a time for me to be done wallowing. Now, don't get me wrong, I STILL WALLOW. I just set a realistic timeline of how long I will be wallowing before I try something again or pick myself up and try something new. In addition to setting the timeline for the wallowing, I also have my typical things I do that cheer me up. If I get cut from a dance audition, I always eat something ridiculously awful. A whole pizza or something covered in spicy queso or even a Cajun Fondue PoBoy (where I ask them to put the fondue straight on the bread so I don't have to mess with the dipping). That doesn't mean I go crazy forever of being unhealthy, but I allow myself the indulgence. I also watch random movies or go out with friends. I do something I've been putting off like spot cleaning the carpet or heck, why not make the apartment spotless?! I do those things within my timeline of wallowing.

Then I get back on the wagon and try again. It sounds cliche, but I cannot even begin to count the amount of failures I've had, even if we try to narrow it down to dancing, work, school, following societal norms for women my age, etc. A good friend once told me to NEVER stop trying. You might get a million "no's" but it only takes one yes. IT ONLY TAKES ONE YES. That yes can change your life. And you only need one of them. That mantra gets me through every stinging, horrible rejection I've ever had. It helps me to keep going, to keep trying and to not quit. If something is important enough to you to try, keep trying. I'll balance this out by saying if you are putting yourself in a harmful situation (physically, emotionally, etc.) then definitely quit that, I'm talking more about dreams, hopes and goals. Don't give up on that. Don't give up on YOU.

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