I'll Say It! I LIKE THE WAY I LOOK!

I recently read the Samantha Brick story and felt the need to write an entry on it. If you haven’t seen the article, the summary of it is that she feels that she is an attractive woman and gets a lot of attention from men because of it (she goes on to list the types of attention she gets) and also goes on to say that because of her looks, she is on the receiving end of much hostility from other women. Many people are so angered by those statements to the point that she has become a celebrity overnight. Many comments on her article or articles about her criticize her views of herself and also go on to say that she isn’t very attractive, calling out each feature that isn’t up to par. In addition, these comments come from both men and women. 

While I think having grandiose views of oneself are unattractive, this woman really hasn’t gone that far. In addition, she is stating several points that she feels are valid. She even goes onto say that women cannot state that they are beautiful without being viewed very harshly, but men can do so. I happen to agree with that sentiment. Men and attractiveness seem to have less struggles overall (THAT DOES NOT MEAN NO STRUGGLES). What I mean by struggles is that women have sometimes conflicting views on attractiveness, and I’ve experienced them myself. On one hand, it’s nice to like yourself and how you look (regardless of what others think) and doing things like buying a nice dress and shoes and having your makeup done makes you feel good. On the other hand, that same level of confidence and attractiveness could be detrimental in places such as work where attractiveness and competence don’t always necessarily go hand in hand. Men don’t seem to have that particular struggle; looking good is looking good. 

In addition, hostility from other women can be for MANY reasons and men don’t have to deal with that quite as often (at least from what I’ve seen and experienced). Other women can hate you because you’re attractive, successful, intelligent, talented, etc. Anything that sets you apart from a group can be potentially viewed as some sort of threat. I’ve experienced hostility and horrible treatment for any number of reasons outside of my own demeanor. That isn’t to say that I’m innocent 100% of the time when being on the receiving end of bad feelings, but it does happen quite often, completely unprovoked. 

The last point I wanted to make is that people instead of mostly criticizing Samantha Brick’s views on herself and the hostility she received, they instead went STRAIGHT to criticizing her looks. It seemed as if every other comment was about how she was in fact, not attractive, her hair was wrong, her teeth were crooked, etc. I’ve noticed that quite often when being in any sort of conflict, that as a woman, people first criticize my looks even before they criticize my argument. This is especially true when dealing with people that don’t know me or don’t know me well. Normally, my comeback is, yep, I’m one UGLY woman, let’s get back to the point. That type of response normally takes the sting out of whatever they are saying and gets back on track.

While I don’t necessarily agree with the tone of her article, she does make a few very valid points and the responses from people do prove them. I think all women and men should feel that they are attractive and have the confidence to say it. In addition, not placing so much self-worth and identity in your feelings about the way you look can help. To me, I’m happy, I like the way I look and that is regardless of what my friends, boyfriends, strangers etc. have to say about it.