The Most Offensive Blog EVER!

On one of my many long drives to school (it’s about an hour) I was thinking about my and others’ interactions with each other. Yeah, I know it’s weird, but seriously, that’s a long time to be alone in the car, especially before 10 am. I was thinking about my tendency to offend people and also my tendency to not be offended easily.  I do my absolute best to think through what I say before I say it, but hey, if you know me, that is NEVER going to happen 100% of the time. I also don’t want others to completely calculate their communications with me. That just seems fake. I got to thinking too, that I struggle most of the time with this, but what about the person that gets offended easily? Do they struggle with seeing past what people say? I decided on this drive that they should, and here is why.

I don’t think being offended for things comes naturally. I think that it is learned in a lot of cases. If an individual is in an environment in which people are constantly mean and degrading, yeah they will be more sensitive to “offensive” comments. In addition, if they are taught that they should be upset when certain things are said, of course they will be more likely to be offended. Now, my “offensiveness” comes from being taught to be honest with people and attempt to explain your position, growing up in an environment where people are more supportive of each other, and to look past what a person is saying to understand their intention. I think that being easily offended and easily offending definitely depends on what is learned over time. 

That being said, and as I mentioned before, I work very hard to understand the people around me and to still maintain my honesty while being sensitive to them. I also work very hard to look past what people are actually saying to understand what they mean. That also takes a lot of work, but both of these things really helps to enhance my relationships and makes me more easygoing, and less hostile (because we all know I need to be, haha). I think if people at least attempt to come to mutual understandings and don’t immediately assume the worst of intentions that many conflicts, in the workplace or otherwise, can be avoided or alleviated rather quickly.

I want to be sure to point out that I do not support or engage in things that are meant to be offensive or demeaning to other people. There are times where I have said things that are taken that way, but I never mean it that way. I would go on further that if someone is really being ridiculous, everyone has the right to be upset in the situation. 

That being said, I would say to be open with that person, at first at least. I have been in situations where people have said things that I either am unsure of their intentions or I know that they are being rude. In those situations, I just say, hey why do you feel the need to upset me or are you meaning it this way? Even if they are, you called them out. In almost every instance of this behavior, that small confrontation stops it immediately. It really puts that person in a situation of they can 1. Say they meant to upset you (no one is going to do this) or 2. Say oh my gosh, I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean it that way! (always happens). Then you don’t get offended and they don’t get the satisfaction.

What I hope people get from this blog is that I believe there needs to be an attempt to mutually understand each other before flying off the handle about something. I also think that both sides of the “offense” (haha, get it?) should work really hard to understand each other. That means if you tend to be easily offended, attempting to see the intention and if you are offensive, attempting to understand the feelings of others.