I Think I Can....

Lately, I have been so excited about my upcoming graduation and thoughts about not having to worry about school and school related frustrations that I have been losing motivation. It’s not like I had a lot of motivation this semester to begin with, so it’s gotten to an all-time low. Many things affect my motivation overall and this is one obstacle that I have not fully learned how to overcome. When faced with the choice to spend a day doing schoolwork or simply laying around watching “Hey, Arnold” (I’m telling you, Netflix is awesome) I almost always will choose the latter. But then there are times where I WANT to do work and just sit down and do it. I find that these times are where I get my best work done, and that forcing myself to do work results in mediocre results. This picture is an illustration of how I feel when I am not motivated.

What affects my motivation? As mentioned in previous posts, I do really badly with the loss of anything and the loss of a good friend has sent me into a subtle lack of motivation. Because her time was cut short, I have this overwhelming feeling to do what I want when I want because if I spend a gorgeous Saturday forcing myself to do mediocre schoolwork, what happens if Sunday is a bad day, or I don’t get a Sunday at all? Now I know that there is a balance to this, and I don’t want any of you to think that I have completely given up doing things that aren’t fun right this instant. I have been doing a pretty good job in keeping up with my school as I’m so looking forward to the next step. Previously, I was balanced in the other way that work is more important, but now I’m in a struggle to find the right balance for me, which I would argue is individually different for each of us.  

So to cope with a lack of motivation, I normally have to psych myself up for a few days to really get things done. If I know I have homework due on Tuesday, I’ll start thinking about doing it on Friday to ensure that I’ll do it Monday. I very much operate on deadlines; if I don’t have a deadline, I just have A LOT of trouble doing it. I don’t even need a hard deadline, just one in general that someone else sets. Yeah, SOMEONE ELSE. I am much less forgiving of myself if I miss someone else’s deadline rather than my own. Not sure why that is, but I feel like I’m letting them down in some way, whereas if it is my own deadline, I just don’t get mad at myself. There are many other ways to cope, but this one has been working best for me!

I’ll let you know how this is progressing, but I feel more and more at ease and balanced as time goes on. BUT THAT, my friends, is also necessary. TIME to figure that out. I had to try a few different things to see what balance of work, school, life, etc. was going to be 1. Most practical and 2. Most appropriate for me. I have been trying things a little differently to learn the coping mechanism I mentioned above. I am also trying to develop other ways to get over this obstacle that I create for myself. Hopefully some of you can relate! So have a good week and STAY MOTIVATED!