Who doesn’t miss their college years? I sure do – and not
for reasons that you might think. I really loved going to different classes and
learning about so many different subjects. I feel like I was almost rushed
through it to obtain a degree and go out into the job market. While travelling
abroad, I wished that I had taken more classes on foreign language, art –
practical and historical, world history and world events. I wished I had the
time to catch onto subjects that weren’t my forte (looking at you, chemistry). Those classes didn’t really figure into my
degree, so they were left by the wayside. I miss the continuous growth and
development and hard measures to ensure that you ARE growing. I miss the accessibility
of experts when you had questions or needed help getting something (Google isn’t
always the answer, but it’s a good place to start!).
I miss the flexibility that college afforded. I could work 4
jobs in completely different areas (part time, of course) but still cheer for
my university, be in academic clubs and be an active member of my sorority.
Nowadays, it’s tough to do anything outside of work because of the standard “you
have to be in office to prove you are working” mindset.
I miss the friendships and accessibility to them. I was
actually talking to a friend who lives in a different city about this the other
day. It is pretty sad when you have friends that talk to you all day, but can’t
get lunch with them. I’m so glad to have social media – otherwise keeping up
with people is really close to impossible. People move, start families and are
at different points in their lives. I want to keep in touch with my friends who
are moms just as much as my friends who live in Europe and just as much as
people who are in the same place in life I am. It’s easier to gravitate towards
those who are in similar spots – my mom friends really don’t want to come to a
happy hour at 6pm because their kids need their attention. Conversely, I don’t
want to hang out at a kid-friendly place with no kids (sorry, makes me feel
awkward. But college afforded an arena where everyone was on the same page,
even if they weren’t going through that era in the same way. I loved being able
to have instant lunch or pool friends because they happened to be on campus. I
loved working with my peers if they didn’t have time to hang out. I even
visited friends when they were working, or went to intramural or university
games in which they were playing or participating. There was always someone to
see.
I miss the clubs and groups. I loved being on a cheer team,
doing master dance classes for free with my ensemble and talking about
neuroscience, even though that ended up not being my major – as an adult there
are few options for hobbies anymore. For example, I’ve been looking to take an
art class for adults and have come up rather empty. I miss my sorority. I miss
having a weekly meeting where we conducted ritual to remind us that we are aspiring
to be better than we are. That we had to think about others, including current,
past and future members and how we can help each other be successful – whatever
the definition of success for that individual might be. I miss the lessons on
how to work with friends and how to work with people who you would definitely not
call a friend, but you would call them your sister. I miss the activities that
would build us as a group, but also as an individual. What sparked these
thoughts was the picture here. We wrote our name on a kite at sisterhood retreat
and each member wrote a message on there. Reading them made me tear up with
happiness – the messages ranged from saying I’m a great dancer to that I’m a
strong and fearless woman. Even though that happened about 10 years ago, I
still needed to hear it. It felt like it did when I first read them.
I feel like each component of college offered so many
lessons, relationships and so much knowledge that really gets squashed
afterwards. I FIGHT to have multiple interests and I FIGHT for my dreams to
stay alive. I FIGHT for my relationships and I FIGHT to be sure that they don’t
fizzle away. I also wonder why it has become this way. Why do we let this
happen as post-graduates or even adults? You don’t have to go to college to
have these same types of feelings – who hasn’t had to give up on a dream due to
time and finances? Who hasn’t let people who you once spent every moment with
drift away? I don’t think that’s healthy or right. I think that there are ways
that we can continue that growth and continue those connections. You need to
hear those positive messages from your friends and they need to hear them from
you. The world might not be set up for all of that, but I’ll be sure to FIGHT
for it.
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