I'm Tired

I’m tired

I’m tired of work, “fun”, friends and life

I’m tired of not sleeping, of sleeping, of fast food and of cooking

I’m tired of bills, bank accounts, loans and STUDENT loans

I’m tired of being a good worker and it not mattering due to other factors such as dress, perceived work ethic and the fact that I’m a girl with boobs

I’m tired of being around fake people, where I am just a means to an end to them

I’m tired of men wanting to sleep with me and only seeing me as an object

I’m tired of not being treated as if I’m a person

I’m tired of being put into small cute packages of categorization to make it easier to identify me

I’m tired of being judged for ridiculous things

I’m tired of being judged for non-ridiculous things

I’m tired of having to live for other people

I’m tired of figuring out others’ perceptions of me

I’m tired of being told I’m the problem when I’m clearly not

I’m tired of people blaming social norms for bad behavior

I’m tired of people being mean

I’m tired of people being rude

I’m tired of malicious intent

I’m tired of being underpaid and undervalued

I’m tired of slaving at two jobs because I can’t get a competitive wage at my main one

I’m tired of having to explain WHY I deserve fair pay

I’m tired of men in my same job benefitting from my battles

I’m tired of laziness

I’m tired of doing others’ jobs for them

I’m tired at the lack of resourcefulness that people have

I’m tired of getting in trouble for caring too much

I’m tired of being told I care too much

I’m tired of caring

I’m just tired.

Monday Blues

Isn’t it the worst to hear that one of your favorite coworkers is leaving an organization? Regardless of the reasons, it’s always like you’re losing a friend (even though you aren’t).  You see these people every day, you work to solve problems, implement solutions and see each other in triumph and defeat. You understand the office, organization, other coworkers, etc. It’s easy to talk about work, but it’s easier to see where each other is coming from since you are in the same pressure-cooker environment day in and day out. Imagine this happening to you over and over again in a short period of time. Doesn’t create a good environment, does it? 

Yes, there is a line or a difference between personal and professional relationships, but working together creates a bond. Even if you LOATHE the person and are happy to see them leave (I mean, I don’t get along with everyone!), there is a bond created. When someone you don’t loathe leaves, there is a missing piece feeling. Oh, she would have been GREAT on this project! This client would have LOVED her! He could have helped you with that….

Each departure is different and almost always, they are going on to bigger and brighter things, but it still makes me feel blue. Yeah its work and I can suck it up and keep doing what I’m doing, but to discount the bonds created and relationships isn’t right. Creating connections is what we do. Changing those connections can be difficult, but maintaining them is essential. You might not be in charge of the departures, your organizational culture and environment, but you ARE in charge of how you choose to maintain and cultivate relationships. And that’s something that I think is important. You make time for people who matter, who you relate to and who you care about.