Cultivating Relationships

After my undergraduate years were over, I have found that it is quite difficult to stay in touch with everyone that I used to spend just about every waking moment with. I am even in the same city! With dealing with the obstacles and learning curves of graduate school, internships, full time “big girl” jobs and overall being an adult, sometimes those relationships fall by the wayside. It makes you feel quite isolated, and quite frankly, old.

Now I know that we are all “busy” and we get “tired” from “working all day.” Have you said or heard that from a friend when trying to coordinate a lunch, dinner, HH or anything? Honestly, the “I’m really busy” excuse is ridiculous. We are all busy. We all have jobs, families, responsibilities, etc. I feel like sometimes when I ask people to hang out, they are just trying to come up with an excuse not to. I’ve been on that other side too, when someone wants to go to a HH, and I’d like to go, but all I can think about is crashing as soon as I get home. My advice is MAKE TIME to hang out with friends, boyfriends, etc. Making time isn’t necessarily easy, but make it a point to understand your habits and understand when you typically “flake out” from seeing people even if plans are on the calendar. 

I’ve noticed that once I get home, I am home for good. So instead of meeting friends later at the gym or at HH, I just schedule it so that I come straight from work, or I stay at work a little later. I also try and make plans only a week or so in advance. Then I won’t forget (which happens often if you aren’t put into my outlook) and also then it isn’t so last minute that I had already mentally decided what I was going to do that day. I also try and vary my time between people so that I can keep up with all of them. That also helps me to work around mine and other people’s schedules. Maybe lunch works better for them than HH. I also try to go to alumni events for my school or different groups I was a part of. Even scheduling an “Old UTD Cheerleader or Theta Alumni” hang out can help you to stay in touch. 

In addition, never feel bad for trying to rekindle a friendship that has gone on the backburner. While you may feel bad for letting it get that way, don’t ensure that the relationship will never again be what it was by simply not reaching out. I’ve found that people always appreciate me thinking of them. 

Cultivating relationships face to face is one of my challenges for the #StepUp30Day challenge. I tend to think that Facebook or Twitter only relationships are just as functional as face to face. While I think it is better than no relationship, making time for people means a lot to them and to me. I have never had a catch up “hang out” that I regretted attending. I always have regretted just going home and relaxing when I could have spent time keeping up with the people that I care about.