I Ain't Settling!

I’ve been trying to make some really big decisions as of late and I thought that I could share my experience, conflict and some conclusions with all of you! Firstly, as I’m sure a lot of you know, I am behind in finishing my Master’s in Industrial Organizational Psychology, but I have been done with classes for 2 YEARS! It’s been massively frustrating to know that, but to placate myself; I applied and was accepted to my school’s PhD program (which is not in Industrial Organizational). The PhD program is in Experimental Psychology, which isn’t one of my strong interests, but I have been trying to make the best of it.

I am now at a juncture. My Master’s thesis is on a topic I am not interested in at all, the method is not something that I will be using in the I/O field and I feel as if I have received no guidance from the I/O professors (which is definitely at least half my fault, due to work schedules, living in a different city, etc). Because of that, I have been harboring some really strong feelings of inadequacy, frustration and overall hopelessness. I was to the point of coming up with a plan to graduate with some help from my fellow academic friends to present to my advisor to ensure graduation by December, but I got a call last week offering me a terminal Master’s and the option of not doing a thesis at all, but just a capstone statistical project. 

I honestly thought about this all day every day for a week. I felt if I took this option, I’d be giving up on my dreams, my future and my overall career. But then, man to be done with all of this stuff and to try and apply to a PhD program that actually interested me was exciting! I realized that I have come to absolute LOATHE school. When did I get to that point?! I LOVED school growing up, during undergraduate and even in graduate school.

I began to research some of the PhD programs in the area (because I love DFW and my job right now). I felt like life was breathed back into me. That I could focus on an achievable goal that was not hindered in any way, and even though it would probably be more work on my part, something that wouldn’t create so much cognitive dissonance (ha! Look that one up!) to do.  I basically had to talk myself into thinking that the current track was the way to go because it was the easiest, as I am almost done with PhD classes as well. But, the place where I really struggled was the research side, and now I was going to subject myself to an even less interesting field just to get a degree? No way, I don’t operate that way.

I still haven’t come to an ultimate conclusion, but what I do know is that I WILL get my Master’s in this subject sooner, rather than later (because it’s something I really have a passion for) and then find a PhD program that really goes along with my strengths, passions and interests. I really enjoy doing research (even though I was told recently, that I clearly don’t) and relaying what I find to all kinds of people. Sometimes, research findings are difficult to translate, as we are encouraged to speak in jargon and math without considering potential audience members that just don’t have that type of background. I LOVE explaining what I do to people, even though now it’s more of a rehearsed little speech. :) 

I’m not sure that I have found my way yet through this specific obstacle, but I know in my heart that I will. And if anyone is going through anything similar, whether it is professional, relational or otherwise, my advice is always DON’T SETTLE! Do NOT do something because it seems to make the most sense, be the most practical or be the easiest path. Even though it seems that way, settling for something will create more problems than it avoids.