One of my New Year’s Resolutions this year was to offer and
accept forgiveness better. That is one of those resolutions that is really hard
to measure progress on – there isn’t a picture I can take of before and after
or say yes, I have done this TODAY, so it’s over. It’s a process and sometimes
it can be difficult to identify ways to accomplish this specific goal. In light
of my current situation, I feel that I’ve offered forgiveness and empathized
with others’ rather than focus on myself when it would be so easy to. I’m proud
of the way I responded, and I hope that I do this every time that I have the
control to forgive and make a situation better.
I was recently laid off from my primary job. Any time I
share that with people, I get the obligatory “I’m sorry,” and most people ARE
genuinely concerned. This always surprises me, but that is a story for another
day. The circumstances surrounding that decision aren’t really fair, but
nothing ever is. I feel like I’ve been forced to abandon my team and clients in
a time when they need me most. My team’s hands are tied and most were quite
shocked and upset for me and this situation. My management team has shown that
they care for me and my situation. I could tell they were scared that I would
blame them – it really wasn’t in their hands. It would have been so easy for me
to allocate blame and lash out at the people who cared for me the most, the
people I see daily and who I look to for leadership. It would be easy to be
angry and closed off and make them feel even worse about the situation. Even
though it would have been easy, it would not have been right.
These people, some of which I’ve worked with for nearly a
decade, cared for me inside and outside of work. They WANT me to be on their team;
they see my strengths and help with my weaknesses. They are my friends and I know
that they don’t “have it out” for me. Sometimes business is just business and
it, quite frankly, sucks sometimes. You can’t throw away relationships just
because of one bad event – even if that event is really affecting you
adversely.
I made the effort to reach out to my team and tell them, I
know it isn’t your fault entirely. I forgive you for anything that happened
that you think is your fault. I know you have my best interests at heart and
are still my friend –regardless of the situation at hand. I did all of this
while thinking of my resolution and thinking of why I wrote it.
I wrote it because sometimes situations aren’t worth burning
long forged friendships even if it seems like that is the case. Maybe taking a
step back for a while or realizing that these people really aren’t trying to
hurt you will help (not in all cases, but in many). By just offering that one
step towards forgiveness, the relationships strengthen tremendously. I’ve had
people forgive me when I’ve hurt them intentionally or unintentionally when I
feel like I didn’t deserve it, but I am eternally grateful that they let me
have a second chance. You screw up, you’re human – admit it, move on and keep
trying to be better. This is one step that I hope to keep making and I hope to
have more examples to share throughout the year!
