Something beautiful happened to me a couple of weeks ago and
I felt the need to share it with all of you. If you didn’t know me growing up
(and even if you did), I’m going to outline some of things I had to deal with
while I was younger. From the time I was a kindergartner, I was bullied by
someone. Let's clarify that I was not a perfect angel growing up, but I experienced a lot of people being not so nice to me for no reason at all. My first bully was named Amanda – she was in the 6th grade
and used to love making me cry (as a 5 year old). I rode on a bus to school and
it got so contentious, that my mom got on the bus and told her to leave me be.
She often would make me sit without my friends and talk about how stupid I was.
The next bully I had was pretty consistent, from the time I
first encountered her in the 4th grade all the way through high
school – though once I hit 9th grade, it didn’t bug me as much and
since we weren’t really EVER in the same classes, she had less of an
opportunity (but she was sure to try as hard as she could). She turned many a
girl and guy against me in middle school, to the point that my mom had to be at
the school all the time BEGGING for people to keep her away from me or to do
something. It turned me angry and acidic towards others and definitely broke my
trustfulness nature in others. I became guarded. I also thought that my friends
and others were deliberately trying to hurt me anytime I felt hurt, which wasn’t
the case. I acted out in school as I was so frustrated with the situation and
the injustice of it all. Many of my teachers in middle school either didn’t do
anything about this situation or made me the problem because this girl’s mom
was well known and respected in the community. It was tough for me until high
school. My mom kept me involved in things outside of school so that my friend base
wasn’t just in school and I had something to look forward to every day. I think
that made me grow less guarded, more trusting and made me more of the positive
person I am and see myself as today. By the way, this girl was deliberately
mean to me at our 10 year high school reunion, so not much has changed.
With that background in mind, one of the girls that had not
been so nice to me in school (not one of the aforementioned bullies) added me
on Facebook. My first thought was NO WAY. She’s trying to stalk my profile and
pick apart my life, just like she did when we were 13. My second thought was,
maybe she is just trying to make a friend. With some trepidation, I accepted
her request. Nothing happened for a long time after I added her. It seemed like
she was happy, had a nice family and that things were going mostly well for
her. Recently, she started posting about how her son was being bullied in
middle school. While I don’t wish that on ANY child, I got rather angry. Why,
would this person not see that they had caused me harm in vivid memories and
then go on and on about how they can’t get any help from the school? My mom had
to FIGHT tooth and nail for any justice or help for me without the aid of
social media BECAUSE of things this girl did to me or participated in to make me
feel badly. In my frustration, I posted a Facebook status echoing these
thoughts. What happened on that status warms my heart to this day. That post
got 42 comments, some outlining past issues, some talking about that maybe this
person didn’t see the parallels in their own behaviors and the entire thread was about people sharing past experiences and trying to move on from them. Then I got a private message from the girl herself
asking if was referring to her at all.
I was, to a degree. It wasn’t directed solely at her, many
other people who had not been very nice to me were posting those things, but
she was in that group of individuals. She apologized and we got to talking and I thought that
it was the end of it. THEN she did an even more amazing thing – she posted a
comment on my status saying that she was guilty of being nasty to me and that
she was sorry (purple in the picture). She also posted a status about me – all positive things.
Now,
when I posted that frustrated status, I NEVER thought this would happen. I also
NEVER thought that we would become long-distance friends when I added her as a
friend on Facebook. BUT I’m SO GLAD that that is what happened! It’s hard to
move on from those transgressions that you had in school that really changed
and affected you, however small they might seem. People do grow up and change
(not all the time, but a lot of the time). I’ve made it a philosophy in my life
to try and offer forgiveness as often as I can (again, not all the time, as I’m
not a saint). This instance was an example of a beautiful person doing a
beautiful thing. What’s your something beautiful this month? I’d challenge you
to display the level of humility, kindness and thoughtfulness MY FRIEND did to
right a very old wrong that really meant more to me than she probably ever will
realize. It also impacted my overall attitude and the way I've been approaching frustrating situations for the past several weeks. It was a beautiful thing and I was glad to be a part of it!
