Do You Hate The Way You Look?

So this entry is going to be a little heavy and less upbeat that my previous posts. I think it’s a real issue that many individuals, both male and female experience at one point in time or another; even though it has probably been seen more heavily in female populations (yes sometimes I talk like the statistician that I am). The issue is having a negative body image. 

To get probably way too personal, I’ve gone through that a few times in my life and it’s just a horrible feeling. I feel as if it invades every aspect of my life and prevents me from focusing on anything. Sometimes I can’t even pinpoint what it is to cause such negativity and insecurity. Once I get it into my head that I am unattractive in one way or another, I have an overwhelming sense of sadness, irritability and insecurity. It governs how I act around friends, family and coworkers. It governs how long I take to get ready in the morning, the effort it takes to do my hair, makeup and choosing an outfit. It governs what I eat and drink. It governs what I choose to engage in in my free time. Most of all it governs my state of mind, really hindering me from focusing on or enjoying anything. 

While I can’t say that I won’t go through that again, what I can say is how I have gotten through that and the things I do to really build my internal confidence. The biggest and most helpful thing I do is a self-talk. I decide that focusing on my looks is really stupid and irrational. I know that it is, but really telling yourself helps. I also talk through the things that make me feel good about myself; accomplished. I also make the conscious decision to QUIT THINKING ABOUT IT! Once that decision is made, I try to keep busy with doing things I like to do, staying active and spending time with positive people. I also do things like buy cute stuff from Victoria’s Secret and hang out all day in it while watching TV or cleaning (silly, but helpful!).  I buy myself a cute Pinterest inspired outfit and shoes! I really look at myself and decide that I like myself and how I look. But most of all, I focus on the feelings I have when I’m happy and hold onto the thoughts around them. I discard the unhappy ones. 

Most of the time, we are being FAR too critical on ourselves. To everyone else, you may be perfect in one way or another! Try and see yourself in the positive light that other people see you! Also, surround yourself with people who are awesome, positive and genuine. I’ve found that being around people who are inauthentic and negative really wears on me, and I just have to distance myself from it. DO THAT. But most of all, love yourself. Decide you are awesome in some way. And keep on truckin’!

Relationships for Life

I was recently watching the movie Flight (do NOT watch it if you are about to travel…) that outlined the crash and subsequent investigation of a high functioning alcoholic and drug addicted pilot, played by DenzelWashington. During the whole movie, I couldn’t help but think where was this man’s friends and family? He had pushed everyone that truly cared about him so far away that he didn’t know which way was up and which way was right. The only people left were those that could benefit from him in some way. 

That got me to thinking at how lucky I am to have people around me that show me the way; that is encourage the right way and shake me when I’m doing the wrong thing. I’ve met many people and have been a part of many groups that have helped me to accomplish my ultimate goal of being a good person. I feel as if being a good person isn’t an ultimate destination, but it is the journey throughout our lives. Because life is never stopping, being a good person throughout it shouldn’t be stagnant either. 

It’s all about the journey to discovering yourself and what your places in this world will be. I say places because I LOATHE the notion that we are all good at one thing or have one niche. Every individual is a complex set of layers, talents, strengths and passions. Finding yourself and your places does involve other individuals, whether you’d want to admit it or not. Each individual you come in contact with does shape your life in some way, direct or indirectly. 

I’ve kind of made it hobby to make friends (if you know me, I LOVE making friends!) in all the facets of what I love to do. I also get a kick of being friends with people who are total badasses in what they do. Being around them makes me strive to be what they are and let me know that I can! Pushing people down that are awesome just pushes you farther away from being as awesome as they are. My heart truly breaks when I hear that individuals say things to people that are discouraging. I’ve been discouraged from doing things by authority figures as a kid and it really does stay with you forever. The only thing that really helped me to push through that discouragement was other individuals who supported my efforts in whatever endeavor I felt like attempting.

Building relationships has always been something that I very much value within my life. Meeting new and different people really does open up one’s eyes to many different ways of life, viewpoints and beliefs. While that sounds very abstract, once you experience it, it comes down to the concrete notion of knowing that people can differ from you and you can RESPECT them. Not the “agree to disagree” or the “can’t we all just get along?” ridiculous notions. Different viewpoints help you to stay grounded. Staying grounded helps you to stay on the right track to being a good and successful person and help you to not make decisions that could ultimately ruin your life.Isolating yourself from people that really have your best interests at heart WILL ruin your life.